I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention. –Diane Sawyer, television reporter for ABC, co-anchor for Good Morning America and former correspondent for 60 Minutes. Ranked by Forbes as one of the World’s 100 Most Powerful Women.
You might cringe at the thoughts of your parents telling you to shut up and pay attention; I can remember my mother, in one of her calmer modes, repeating over and over again: “do what you are told.” As a kid this was certainly one of those mantras that I blew right through as a hyper-active lunatic who was more interested in the mass destruction of anything I could get my hands on. Furthermore, even though I did not know it, the root of this craziness was the inbred wiring of an entrepreneur, who these days, still does not like to be told what to do! BUT…the truth be told, it is pure disintegration that waits if we do not learn to take the direction given to us by those that have already traveled on the path that we so desire. In my capacity as a real estate coach and the father of five hyper active kids (P.S. you reap what you sow!), I have come to realize the true wisdom in my mother’s mantra. Run into enough brick walls and have enough personal and business challenges and you’ll eventually start to listen to the words of those better traveled!
I listen with attention to the judgment of all men; but so far as I can remember, I have followed none but my own. – Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592), one of the most influential writers of the French Renaissance.
There are many people in all aspects of life that stand out as the true, natural leaders. They are those that the pack seem to rally around so easily and garner strength from. A leader has the uncanny ability to draw action and results from people where there seemed to previously been none. You recognize these people in sports, politics, entertainment, business and even within families…some even fly under the radar and go largely unnoticed. But what happens when change or even tragedy strikes and the leader suddenly goes away. You know that feeling intimately I’m sure because we have all experienced it. The disappearance of that special strong personality leaves a void that conjures up the desperate image of us being left in a cold desert wind, watching the dust and the tumble weeds whip by; that feeling that makes us aware of a huge void that we had been blinded from seeing because we hid comfortably behind that leader prior to their exit! The event has lead to the destruction of families, companies and even countries seemingly over night…almost like in an instant everything becomes unglued!
It really lasted the whole game, because I was really untouchable, unstoppable that game. But it was heightened on one particular play, and that was the longest run where everything completely slowed down. My awareness was so keen, it was so heightened, it was really amazing. – Marcus Allen, National Football League hall of fame member.
There is no question that many athletes have at times achieved a heightened sense of awareness, in complete control of their physical and psychological beings, experiencing a laser focus that allowed them to make the tiniest of distinctions and excel at record breaking levels. So how do they get there? Why can’t we all achieve that sharp focus? Well the real answer is that we can and we do, but we simply have to engage more than we do. We have already awakened to the trap of becoming spellbound zombies and encouraged that action is the best teacher…the result of which is a greater sense of personal awareness. This week I had the great opportunity to spend some individual one on one time with my sales team members and I became very aware of many misconceptions that existed amongst what I was thinking about them and them me. I also became more aware than ever that my words can be more powerful than I had ever expected in both positive and negative ways. I realized that what I often thought was a harmless jab meant to encourage was often interpreted as a put down…the exact opposite effect!
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. – Anne Lamott, political activist, progressive and author.
This week after showing several people how to take action I was told…”I know but I’m a perfectionist!” This made me really think about why anybody would even say that. I will give these people credit because I find them to be quite intelligent and capable of making solid choices, however, this retort just made no sense. Actually, I found it to be an automatic defense mechanism to avoid action steps that appeared to these people as uncomfortable! What’s worse is that I could actually see and hear the pain associated with this burden of perfectionism…in other words, they were using this concept as their own personal whipping post! Castigating themselves for not getting things completely perfect or worse, not even taking action until they reached some ultimate level of understanding and knowledge. See the problem is that many people, especially intelligent, deep thinkers will strategize about anything and everything that could go wrong before taking action. While I certainly believe in the power of proper preparation there is no such thing as being ‘perfectly’ prepared for anything!
Think about it…I am a huge believer in the concept of infinite distinctions in all aspects of life…hence the tag line in the blog headline: “little distinctions, big changes.” So if you will indulge me and agree that we can always make more distinctions, then how can the concept of perfectionism be valid? As a matter of fact, while I was looking for a pertinent quote for this thinking tool, most of the quotes about “perfectionism” were negative! The obvious reason for that is because it becomes a reason, or worse, an excuse for not taking action! And the further irony is that without action, ultimately you learn nothing but theory, and a lot of that is based on erroneous images you create that are more fear based than anything else. Again, why do you think a professional athlete is at a higher level than other equally physically talented athletes? I will argue that it’s because the pros have made further ‘tiny’ distinctions because they have taken more action steps…more action based practice. How about actors, politicians, teachers, doctors? It does not matter…the ones that take more action make more distinctions, learn more and conclusively are more successful.
