Perfect?

Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. – Anne Lamott, political activist, progressive and author.

This week after showing several people how to take action I was told…”I know but I’m a perfectionist!” This made me really think about why anybody would even say that. I will give these people credit because I find them to be quite intelligent and capable of making solid choices, however, this retort just made no sense. Actually, I found it to be an automatic defense mechanism to avoid action steps that appeared to these people as uncomfortable! What’s worse is that I could actually see and hear the pain associated with this burden of perfectionism…in other words, they were using this concept as their own personal whipping post! Castigating themselves for not getting things completely perfect or worse, not even taking action until they reached some ultimate level of understanding and knowledge. See the problem is that many people, especially intelligent, deep thinkers will strategize about anything and everything that could go wrong before taking action. While I certainly believe in the power of proper preparation there is no such thing as being ‘perfectly’ prepared for anything!

Think about it…I am a huge believer in the concept of infinite distinctions in all aspects of life…hence the tag line in the blog headline: “little distinctions, big changes.” So if you will indulge me and agree that we can always make more distinctions, then how can the concept of perfectionism be valid? As a matter of fact, while I was looking for a pertinent quote for this thinking tool, most of the quotes about “perfectionism” were negative! The obvious reason for that is because it becomes a reason, or worse, an excuse for not taking action! And the further irony is that without action, ultimately you learn nothing but theory, and a lot of that is based on erroneous images you create that are more fear based than anything else. Again, why do you think a professional athlete is at a higher level than other equally physically talented athletes? I will argue that it’s because the pros have made further ‘tiny’ distinctions because they have taken more action steps…more action based practice. How about actors, politicians, teachers, doctors? It does not matter…the ones that take more action make more distinctions, learn more and conclusively are more successful.

So the point of this all is to understand that perfectionism is another mind gremlin. It’s the ‘smart’ part of the brain that tells you why things could go wrong so you better think about it more…until you’re paralyzed and can’t take action. Now I know that you have fear, we all do, it’s a survival mechanism so we don’t act ridiculously and keeps us from taking action in situations where clearly our lives are in danger! Maybe you’re afraid to ask that person on a date…but what’s the worst thing that happens…you hear no and… don’t die…then you think about what you could have done better…then you realize that you sounded silly and know you could have done better…so you try again and the next time it works…little distinctions that taught you well and got you what you really wanted! Why can’t you do that in business and ask for the deal? See the problem is that we have become too fragile. Rejection is healthy…it makes you stronger and more determined…but if you never take a chance you end up stuck like a zombie popping pills just to get through the day. So stop over thinking everything and telling yourself that a smart perfectionist would just keep preparing, because the truth is that a great achiever will prepare to a point and then take a blind leap of faith and let action be the ultimate teacher!

Tags: Motivation, Self Improvement