Old Friends!

DOWNLOAD AUDIO VERSION – Old Friends – FreeThinkingtools.com

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. -Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC), a Greek philosopher, student of Plato and teacher to Alexander the Great.

It’s amazing how time seems to have flown by when we look in the mirror. What seems to be only minutes can actually be years. That look back into our own living time capsule can conjour up many emotions from painful to wonderful. There is no doubt either way that a life look-back is a great teacher and this week for me it reminded me of the value of true old friends!

I had the opportunity to catch up with some friends that I have not seen in years…in some cases over 25 years! Even though much time has passed, the faces are all the same…sure I get it…we all look a bit older, but the history of the relationship is captured in those faces. And the best part is that it’s real! I mean time just comes rushing back and the memories once faded are instantly alive and real again!

But the feeling I noticed the most is based on that question in your gut that challenges you to think…did I make the best of these realtionships when I had the chance? I’m not saying that I beat myself up or suggesting that you do either, I’m simply realizing that life really is about our relationships with other people and how we treat or have treated each other.

I know relationships are more difficult when we are younger because we are more filled with the insecurities of youth, but wow what a long lasting impact those friendships really do have over time; definitely more impactful than we ever realize at the time. The friendship bonds that are made when we are young might even be the strongest because we have many less life worries like jobs, kids, spouses, money and any other overwhelming responsibilities!

At the time we just don’t realize that the way we are treating each other is forming how we will deal with anybody and everybody in the future. We are building a system for processing relationships. We have talked about psycho cybernetics or mental systems and this one is the most critical. The flip side of a relationship is how we are treated when we are young by other people. Do we worry about what everybody thinks and give it too much credit or do we take it to heart and let it create cracks in our foundation? You see, when we are young it seems to be about fitting in…finding a group of people that will finally accept us. It’s always hard because the more dominating personalities can intimidate us from expressing our true thoughts and personality.

So where am I going with all of this…simple…appreciate the differences that other people have. The majority of your life experience is made up of relationships with other people…think about it…we often see the world together with our friends…parties, trips, laughs and downright ridiculous times. The best parts of our life are shared with other people.

So the look back is screaming at us…what have you missed out on with your real friends? Are you too busy with “doing life”…too much going on to touch base with your friends to slow it down? Why? Because you’re busy trying to get ahead? Make more money? Maybe you’re waiting to reconnect until you look better, lose some weight, drive a better car? Maybe you’re embarrassed because your marriage didn’t work out, you can’t or didn’t have kids and how could you possibly tell your real friends? Maybe when you look back and everything you wanted to become for yourself and your friends just didn’t quite work out?

Who cares?! I mean really, I know it’s very much a cliche to say that’s not what life’s about, but it’s not! Who cares how you look! Who cares how big your bank account is! Who cares when and if you got married and if you did who cares if it didn’t work out! I mean I certainly understand that life is not as scripted and regimented as your school years…back when all you had to worry about was when you had to be in class and what kind of grades you got or even what college you went to…but does that really define you…not at all. As a matter of fact those still dwelling on that post college are probably having trouble finding the next place in life!

With real friends you should bear your soul! I’m not saying dump all over them when you have a problem but don’t be afraid to be real! Tell them what’s great without rubbing it in and tell them where it really hurts without whining. Ask for help! The truth is your real friends would drop everything in a nanosecond to come to your aid…and it doesn’t matter how long ago it was since you last saw them…try me on this one…you’ll find no better refuge!

The fact is, we are all much wealthier than we ever think we are…we are rich in relationships! That wealth is one of the easiest to grow exponentially! It takes very little investment of time and no money at all! Just pick up the phone, get on Facebook or text a friend! Ask them how they’re doing and listen…really listen to the details and ask deeper questions…be interested because your world will expand and your view will widen…it will even help you make sense of your own challenges and feelings!

So the thinking tool here is perhaps a warning…don’t let time be a thief, rather a teacher! Write out a list of those people who have had an impact on your life! Go back in time and think about some of the kids you were friendly with growing up, going to school, playing sports with…and find them! Get on Facebook, Google or whatever it takes and find them! Because you are really looking for a piece of you, probably the best of you…the old you is really what made you who you are today but you’re not done growing…that never happens…so get to work…I know you might be embarassed, but get over it because I bet your friends feel the same. What a shame it would be if somebody didn’t make the first move! Go find your old friends now!

Tags: Aristotle, Friends, Inspiration, Motivation, Self Improvement