Personality Checkup!

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Cause you’ve got personality, walk – personality, talk - personality, smile – personality, charm-personality, love personality. -Lloyd Price (1933-), singer, songwriter.

One thing that amazes me is that we can go through life and never really know ourselves that well.  I mean short of a Psychology 101 class,  no one seems to really take the time to help us figure out how we are wired…why we behave the way we do…why we react the way we do and most importantly why we deal with challenges, especially involving other people the way we do!

The frustration we cause each other is really the bain of our existence,  the main stumbling block to a better life. After all, don’t you agree that those people that learn the secrets to getting along with others really do live a more peaceful life?  Even though there are those that would rather escape to the confines of the wilderness and contemplate nature by talking to trees, the majority of people still yearn for the love and attention of others so we better figure this out.

So how do the well-adjusted do their thing…why do they always seem so agreeable, so non-argumentative?  The answer may be as easy as they know themselves really well, which in turn allows them to adapt more easily. So how do they figure themselves out…have they found some wise, old guru meditating at the top of a hill that shares with them the great secrets or life or is it much less complicated than that?

For me the pathway to enlightenment came the first time I was introduced to a very simple personality profile test.Really nothing complicated at all,  rather a basic quadrant that divides us up into one of four types.  The first a “D”…the dominant driven type;  the second an “I”,  the natural salesperson, the sharply dressed;  the third an “S”, those that crave steadiness and finally the “C”, those that crave compliance and detail.

Truth be told, I’m sure we all have a bit of each of these in us or in fact as I like to say, we can ‘dial up’ any one of these traits if we simply call upon them with a disciplined effort. But what does all of this really mean and why is it useful at all…because it has everything to do with how we are wired and henceforth deal with anything and more importantly anybody that life offers us.

So the result would be that you would find one of these traits to be your most dominant trait. From there you begin to understand why you consistently behave in one particular manner more often than not. Once you have lasered in on this you will understand why you do what you do. Yet there is always a yin to the yang and that in fact could be the most important part of even discussing this topic.

Simply put,  your strength is also your weakness! Let’s consider each type:  The Dominant “D’”will be very driven and will accomplish most of the things that he or she sets their mind to, however, while accomplishing that they will often not even be slightly concerned with how other people are feeling or care what they are thinking and therefore leave behind them a wake of injury and hurt.

The Dominant “I’” can be the life of the party and bring plenty of fun to any scene, but at the same time can become lost in their own world looking to fill up on their own needs…the “I’”can often be very self-centered losing other people’s interest just as fast as they won it.  The Dominant “S” can be one of the most fantastic supporters of a greater effort, willing to sacrifice all self-aggrandizement for the benefit of the team, however, the “S’” can by default become the world’s doormat and subsequently a quiet resister and grudge holder.

Finally, the Dominant “C” is outstanding at checking all the boxes, attention to detail is a natural strength. Yet taken to an extreme, the “C” can become obsessive about details to the point of paralysis, stuck in the analysis phase and never achieving much action…I’m no shrink, but consider the “C” in OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

So armed with knowledge,  how do you make real changes that can give you instant benefit?  The first suggestion is to look back at major events in your life…good or bad…and think about how you dealt with the circumstances.  There would be no surprise in the fact that when you excelled there were perhaps circumstances that allowed you to flex your natural dominant trait, and perhaps you were surrounded by people with similar personalities.

The most important action step would be to become a thinker first rather than a reactor. Put things in the perspective of your personality…how could you use your strength as just that, in other words there will be natural times to ‘dial it up’ but more importantly there will be other times when you should definitely ‘dial it down’!

The most critical time that you can practice is right now!  Listen to the words of the people you care about…what are they really saying? Are they crying out to Dominate,  Influence,  Support or Comply?  Why not let them have their dose?  Why not let somebody take their personality type for a walk with you without you feeling like you need to “correct” them?

You see truly it’s nothing more than our own insecurity that we feel like we need to make other people conform to our type…we cry out for this all the time:  “Why don’t they think like I do?”;  ”Why don’t they buy the way I do?”;  “Why don’t they care the way I do?”…sounds familiar doesn’t it?

Think about the people from whom you have learned the most…they listened didn’t they, they let you take your personality for a walk all over them didn’t they…you know why?  They knew exactly who they were and were okay with it and they wanted to tell us, but at the time it would just have not made any sense but now it does!  Get to know who you really are wired to be and by default your tolerance will grow and your empathy for personality differences might just set you free!

Tags: Inspiration, Motivation, Personality, Self Improvement