Congruent?

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Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead. -Aldous Huxley (1894-1963), English writer and author of Brave New World.

Ah the word congruent conjures up many thoughts, especially from high school geometry! Dreams of congruent triangles used to wake me up in a cold sweat! However, it’s amazing how that word should resurface so many years later as a guiding light!

The origin of the word suggests equal, or come together, fit in, agree, but before I lose you in an English lesson, I want you to think about the challenge that the concept brings when it comes to your life. So let’s first assume that you have some clue as to what is really important to you. Let’s presume that you want a lot of money. Maybe your fear of failure is such a force in your life that you just want a boat load of cash so that you are never financially enslaved again!

Okay, fine! I agree and I’m in. We’re congruent in the way we think about wanting money. So now what? How do we get it? Do we envision a particular job? Do we make certain investments? Do we have any special skills that could be developed to the point of expertise that would keep us in high demand? So after a few self-directed questions, we quickly find the necessity for clarity in how we’ll get the money.

So here is the first test of the law of congruency. We have declared the fact that we want something, but are we doing what it takes to get it? Are we spending our personal time studying how money works? How it ebbs and flows, or how it comes and goes? Are we learning how the differences between developing the necessary skills to get paid and those needed to manage the slippery reward affect us?

The congruency self-test is actually quite simple, but it does require the endangered skill of self-listening. Are your words consistent? If you say you want more money, do you also say you will spend more time working on goal writing, skill development and money management? Or do you rationalize that the time is not right? It’s a tough economy! When it improves, I’ll block out the time!

If you were traveling on a plane from New York one day and suddenly that plane hit a flock of birds and lost engine power, I bet you’d hope the pilot’s name was Sully. A guy who wanted to be a great pilot and studied hard to do just that. A calm leader who knew that he was perfectly prepared to land that disabled plane softly in the Hudson River and preserve the lives of many people and generations to come. Thanks to his congruent behavior between saying he wanted to be a great pilot and then doing what it took. Congruent!

We might also consider some of the greatest leaders of our times. Those that had a belief and, in spite of the negative implications, acted congruently; Gandhi and Martin Luther King. Congruent even in the face of tremendous sacrifice! What would you have done in their shoes? Are you willing to walk the path of congruency?

Without congruency we live a tortured life. I saw it firsthand this week during a sales training conference. While reviewing some of the simple scripts and guarantees offered within the program, there were many tense moments as our members struggled to recite what at first glance appears to be simple text. But words and concepts have incredible power and in order to align ourselves with them, we must first believe! We must be in a state of congruence!

There’s often a struggle deep inside us that can create an insurmountable impasse. In the spirit of progress, several of our members blurted out that they did not believe the offers were real or that they couldn’t deliver what was being promised! Perfect, because once you get to that point, you can easily figure out why? Why don’t you believe? Do you fully understand the concept? Are you comfortable with the words spoken in your second language? Do they even mean the same thing? Why are the words and your feelings not congruent?!

Think about the face of a prisoner of war as he is forced to denounce his own country? You know in an instant that the confession has been beaten out of him! How about a religious confession that is forced? Impossible! The belief system is so ingrained and clear that extracting an incongruent statement is the hopeless work of even the most skilled toturer! I offer you the martyr as well. The person whose congruence is so unyielding that he or she is willing to lay down all else for it!

Incongruent behavior is a disease of pandemic proportions! We all have it. We all look for the mentors and the doers to give us hope. We read their books, we watch them win championships and we see them overcome the greatest of challenges! They inspire us to learn, to practice and to persevere. Some of us really do get up off the proverbial couch and take action. We attend the seminars, sign up for the courses, study the materials and take action. But then we realize that congruence takes hard work. When the lights go dark on the outside world and nobody is there but us…do we quit on congruency? Do we fold the tent?

Ultimately, congruent behavior is what you’re seeing in the best of the best. It’s the ingredient that propels the ordinary to the extraordinary! Yes, that’s right, it’s how average Joe and Jane emerge from the herd and become something much more! The result of actions being congruent with hopes and dreams! When congruency reveals itself to us, we dress in it’s armor and take on the world! We go out unafraid into the dark forest to stake our claim, but without it, we shiver at the back of the pack and cast stones at the winners! So get congruent and claim what is rightfully yours! Now!

Tags: Aldous Huxley, Congruent, Inspiration, Motivation, Self Improvement