Self-Righteous & Stuck?

Self-righteous people can talk themselves into forgetting they are part of a civilization. They can then feed on that culture, bringing it down. David Brin (1950-), scientist and award winning author of science fiction, best known for his Uplift stories.

Write Your Own Eulogy

When it really comes right down to it, what’s the most important part of your life? If you could write your own eulogy what would it say? Would it refer to all the great business deals you had done? Would it mention how much money you had accumulated? All your inventions? Really think about it for a minute and be real!

The truth is we know deep inside that life is all about our relationships with other people. Our “interdependence” that we elevate to when we reach the highest levels of personal mastery and maturity. Yet for some they never get to that point. They might wean themselves off of the level of dependency up to an independence up to an interdependence, but that’s precisely where we miss a great opportunity. Why?

Ego Blast-Off

When we jump from a state of dependence to independence we have to work hard to really own it so that we don’t slip backwards. We think we have to build up that ego to stay there and often times we do that at the expense of others. We put them down and keep them down. We even crush them so that we can grow six more inches by standing on their dead spirits.

We take offense to what other people say that might threaten our newly found independent thinking. We get downright ornery, dig our heels in and prepare for the fight of our lives just to reaffirm our strength. We put up a front and retreat to our own little island.

Think about it. How crazy? We finally move in the direction to independence, but instead of seeing it as a stepping stone to becoming a leader and teaching others to find their own independence we use our new powerful self image to inflict damage and miss the great opportunities of interdependence.

The Island of Lost Humanity

Simply put, we lose the “humanity” of our circumstances. This is certainly no easy fix because it exists at many different levels. Businesses have the choice to conquer or include. Governments have the ability to encourage or burden. Those “in the know” have the chance to share or manipulate. But at least we can all become more aware and make our own difference on an individual basis.

How easy it is to simply make a decision to effect positive change. Are you in a fight with somebody?  Why?  What’s it even about?  Do you feel violated in some way?  Mentally, physically or otherwise?  Has somebody compromised your values?  Broken the rules that you hold so dearly?

So what!  Is it really life threatening?  What have you done to make it better?  Are you sitting back waiting for them to come to you?  Are you expecting them to visit your “self-righteous”  throne and throw themselves at your mercy?  Maybe they’re not even alive anymore, but yet you’re still consumed with anger and frustration.  There is no time where you aren’t effected by what they did. What they said. How they hurt you.

Get Over It

Well, kick the bucket because NOBODY IS COMING!  There is no cavalry.  There is no white knight.  That’s the stuff of “make-believe”.  You’re it!  You’re the one that can change it on a dime.  The angry and hurt self-image that you’re carrying around like a boulder tied to your neck is slowing you down…nobody else!

Father Time has no empathy for your plight.  He just keeps moving forward.  We are nothing more than his silly children perpetuating our own misery.  We continue to put on our adult tantrums and hide behind our values, our standards.  We wax on poetic about how we can’t believe that other people would act in such a way. We cast condemnations from our Ivory Towers and Glass Houses.

The Wise Smile

But the wise…ahhh…they know.  They have laid down their swords and smiled in the face of controversy.  They have taken an oath of humility because they know they can’t go it alone.  They realize that if they can show others this higher level then we can all benefit beyond our wildest dreams.

However, the wise are not naive.  They do what they do and move on.  They realize they can’t help everybody but do their best to send the message.  You’ll know them because they are passionate.  They share without concern for gain. They see the spoils as a by-product that will accumulate by default if they can simply help others see the light.

Too often we mistake the wise as the self-righteous, when in fact it’s the stubborn independent people. You see the secret ingredient is humility.  The ability to realize that we are all the same.  We all have the built-in tools and programs to make it happen!

But what about the underprivileged?  The deaf?  They highlight the power of sight. The blind?  They show us the importance of touch. The poor?  They remind us to appreciate our small fortunes?  And none better than the mentally challenged, who teach us that the most important aspect of life is the pure love of others.

Humble Advance

So every day we have a chance to write that perfect eulogy by how we look at our relationships with our family, our friends, our colleagues and complete strangers. So it’s time to give up the ridiculous fight of always being right and coming out on top.  Come down from your comfort zone and roll up your sleeves.  Engage somebody with whom you don’t see eye- to-eye and make the first move.

What you’ll find has more to do with who you will become. Your self- image will become more empowered than ever as you see yourself in a much more powerful way.  The belief that you are capable of really changing lives, especially your own, will be strong and unstoppable. So hurry up!  Time’s wasting and you need to make your mark, NOW!