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Random Act!

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I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul. -Maya Angelou (1928-), American female author and poet, best known for her auto-biography I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

Random Act Of Kindness

Nothing strikes more fear in our hearts than a random act of violence. It’s the first thing on the news. It sells because it compels us by pushing our vulnerable, fearful buttons. But what about a random act of kindness. I would argue that it’s many more times powerful and compelling.

I’m not sure why I had this feeling come over me the other day, but I felt like committing a random act of kindness. I even posted it on Facebook so that I was fully engaged and told my friends to stay tuned for the results. It dominated my thoughts for the entire morning and grew to the point where I jumped off my desk and went looking for my “victim.”

I decided to head towards my favorite lunch spot, which is run by a community of people that are self sustaining and always doing for others, the perfect venue. I could barely focus on ordering as I looked around for my opportunity. That’s when I noticed a cute elderly couple sitting behind me.

Elderly Victims

To paint the scene properly, the decor of the restaurant is like that of a tree fort, something you might find in an enchanted forest. All of the tables are hand-carved from recycled wood and the booths are private enclaves that you disappear into. It reminds me of the book the Hobbit.

With a subtle turn of my head, I could only see the husband who had a great old fashioned pair of suspenders. He and his wife were debating what to order; but what made the situation compelling was the way he deferred to his wife, who in turn was thoughtful in her consideration of what he might like. A little amusing dance. There was something in the conversation that lead me to believe that financially they were seriously considering the limits of what they could afford. That’s exactly when I locked in. This was my chance. I decided to buy their lunch.

Anonymous Adrenaline

Once the decision was made, I could barely eat my own lunch as the adrenaline started pumping through my body. I completely forgot about my book that I had with me and began my plot. I waived the waitress over to my table and asked her to sit down as I held up the universal whisper sign, placing my finger against my mouth. Then I brought her in on the gig, but made it very clear that I was going to remain completely anonymous.

You see I’ve always been impressed by those that give anonymously, because it transcends them and their needs. Many of us want to be recognized and loved so often we give in a way to also self-fulfill. But is that really giving at its best. Certainly any unselfish act is commendable and encouraged; but how cool are those people that just do it undercover.

The Tearful Escape

So I continued to devour what was left on my plate so I could complete my task. I popped up from the table and went to the take out counter to pay both bills. The staff was perfectly in sync and played it out like any other transaction. After I received my change, I almost ran out the front door so as to not tempt myself and look back at the couple. As I hit the sidewalk, I had an adrenaline surge that gave me the chills and still does as I recall it.

When I jumped into my car the thoughts of that moment dominated my mind. Who were they? How long had they been together? Then suddenly my eyes welled up and I felt all choked up. I’m not really sure why that happened, but maybe it was a pure connection to humanity. Maybe that’s just what happens when you get over yourself and completely give yourself to someone else, but I have to say that the feeling was more intoxicating than anything else you could indulge in!

Read All About It

When I returned to the office, I couldn’t wait to share the update on Facebook. At the risk of that public exposure negating the essence of true anonymity, I felt compelled to share the experience. Never before had I posted anything that received such an overwhelming response. Many people chimed in with their thoughts, which only made me realize what’s really in people’s hearts.

End The Musical Chairs

These days it seems like everybody is selling something, and most of it we don’t need. It seems like life has become one big Ponzi scheme as we try to manipulate each other to get what we want; and that just feels like a big game of musical chairs with the chairs rapidly disappearing. Where will that leave us?

The same week, I happened upon Stephen Covey’s audio book about the 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People where he talks about the three levels of maturity. Dependence, Independence and Interdependence. That’s exactly where we need to focus. That fact that we truly are interdependent. Maybe that’s why it feels so good to give. Maybe we see our own struggles and needs in other people. Maybe that’s really why I cried.

Now I’m not suggesting that we all lay down our careers and go live off the land, but I am saying that we all have a need to care for each other. This is not a guilt trip either, it’s simply a fact of life and survival. There is no doubt we still need everybody to step up and do their part. This is certainly about meeting at the mid point, but stop and consider your true position. I bet you’ll agree your wealthy in many ways other than how many nickels you have in the bank. So start sharing your gift, whatever it might be, and don’t dare say you don’t have any. Get inspired and help somebody without them even knowing about it, because I promise you that you’ll feel better than you ever have before and you just might change a life in the process!

Posted by on Monday, September 28, 2009 at 10:11 am 
Filed under Monday Morning Motivation · Tagged with , , , , ,

  • http://lindacork.com Linda Cork

    Danny,

    That was the most fun I’ve had on facebook ever, and this is really one of your best blog entries ever as well.

    Mostly I like to kid and tease you, but this time you made me cry as well, and so for that I thank you.

    Blessings.

  • Rob Cork

    Thanks for your idea and for sharing it!

  • http://www.newteamrealty.com Rebecca Austin

    Danny, that was a glimpse of the “real you” emerging and you letting it happen. Awesome!

  • Holly Ladd

    How many times do I say this after reading your posts Danny….NAILED IT!

    Thank you.

  • Meli

    Random the gift is, spontaneous it was not. Perhaps there in lies the magic.

    To be purposely generous.

  • http://freethinkingtools.com Amy Curry

    I love this one! I have never commented on anything yet, although I read it every Monday, but this one hits very close to my heart and as you said, it hit very many peoples heart. I myself did the same thing last week and although I wanted to remain anonymous, the people knew I was the one who bought their meal. It was their anniversary and I just felt compelled in my heart to buy their meal.. It felt very good to do this for someone out of unconditional love and if more people would “pay it forward” the world would be a much more pleasant place:)

  • http://www.themiskinteam.com Ira Miskin

    Random acts of kindness come in various forms and last a long time – especially for the giver. I have no way of knowing the longer term imact on the receiver. Years ago I was walking up 6th Ave. in midtown Manhattan and spotted a once revered satirist-cartoonist named Charles Addams (who created The Addams family) whose works had been published for many years in The New Yorker Magazine. He was elderly now and new work rarely appeared. He didn’t know me from Adam (parrdon the pun), but I went up to him as he was walking his little terrier dog, shook his hand and said “I think you are among the greatest cartoonists in the history of the world!” He broke out into the biggest grin I’ve seen in a while. I just walked away and felt great. I hope he did too. I remember still, and this occured, probably 20 years ago. Random acts of kindness work.

  • Alan Smith

    Hi Danny,

    As you point out most of us are very very blessed whether financially or with other gifts. We should be giving back and not so focused on ourselves. Thanks for the reminder!

  • http://golf-gulf.com Marie

    The more you give-the more you get

  • Marnetta Arnett

    Great story, Danny! Who was that masked man? And a SIMPLE random act of kindness, that no doubt made their day! I love it. I also love to be anonymous — fee;s empowering — like having a secret.

  • http://www.JeffreyWilsonRE.com Jeff Wilson

    Danny,
    I had a Triathlon this weekend. My middle daughter and I went to stage my bike and register as well as meet with teammates and share in a little pre-race activity. One of the pre-race activities my daughter and I have is to get a snowcone ( Arizona and 107). So we walked to the snowcone van and there was a lady in front of us. She was from Canada and going through her purse to try to find three US dollars to buy a snow cone for her and her kids. She did not have it. My daughter however had “19 quarters” that she brought to buy us a snow cone. She gave 8 quarters to the lady in front of us so she could buy her and her kids a snow cone. I was very proud. Later that day I mowed the yard and cut out a bunch of bushes with an axe. This made the neighbors yard behind us more visible and my two oldest daughters and I were enjoying the view when I heard metallic objects hitting the rocks in the neighbors back yard. I looked at my little giver and she was throwing money into the neighbors backyard. I asked what she was doing and she said giving the neghbors some money in case they needed it just like the snowcone lady. She really felt good about the money she gave to the snowcone lady and wanted to feel that same joy again from what she told me. I had a chuckle to myself and we went about the rest of our day. I was very proud of her but also told her it makes no sense to through your money into a vacant backyard if noone is there to collect it or even knows of its existence. I am certain she will remember the snowcone lady for years to come. Geat story Danny.

  • http://www.classichomesre.com Lillian Leone

    Hi Danny,

    I was very touched by today’s motivation – You bring up a great point that most of us should be giving back and be greatful for what we have. I always try to help people that are less fortunate than we are and it feels good and I wish more people would do the same and be less focussed on themselves. As always you are always so insperational. Thanks!

  • http://www.phyllisfryer.com Phyllis Fryer

    Hey Danny,
    I appreciated reading your story. I’ve done that in the past, too! It is a good feeling. Random acts of kindness can make the world a better place if enough people become engaged.
    It’s even better if you make acts of kindness less random! Volunteer work has been a regular part of my daily life. I’ve tried various venues through the years: the homeless shelter, the soup kitchen, food pantry and thrift store. I always tried to instill the love of this type of service to my children, with some success. Currently I work with the outreach program at my church (food for very poor people) and I design quilts at Angelquilters, a church ministry that creates bereavement quilts and quilts for new babies in our parish, as well as quilts for auction at various church fundraising functions.
    I brought my daughter to the soup kitchen to help when she was 14, but she cried so much afterward I didn’t make her go back! She is, to this day, deeply saddened at the thought of homeless people. She gives back in her own way and at least has the seeds of service to the larger population growing in her college age mind. She is very generous with the little money she earns, and gives where she sees a need. I can tell you that as a mother, that makes me so proud of who she is. And her father had a hand in there, too, so I am not leaving out half the influence.
    Your post made me reflect on my own life, and it helped me to stop and realize that I have made some great decisions about what I leave behind. I do get satisfaction from that, and I am deeply grateful for my life. I spend too much energy thinking about what I could have, should have done. What I HAVE done is good enough!

  • Sonja Butler

    I got chills reading this just now and it made me think of how much more often I used to do such random acts of kindness, I need to get back to that place. Many of your posts have made me reconnect with who I am and have lost touch with over the last few years.

    I love the anonymous adrenaline…I’m going to go feel some of that myself here shortly.

    Thank you Danny :)

  • http://www.bnshomes.com Bob Mercurio

    Danny,
    Now as we approach the holiday season this simple wisdom becomes even more importation. Teach your children the value of giving by picking up a gift for a random recipient-Marine’s Toys for Tots or the “angel” program everyone seems to have or a church group, etc. It always makes me feel the true holiday spirit by contributing time and gifts to the less fortunate.
    Thanks for the reminder.