Kick The Bucket!

It’s not my fault for being a victim, it’s my fault for staying a victim. -Oprah Winfrey (1954-), American Talk Show host and producer.

Hearing The Words

I will never forget walking through my kitchen one day while Oprah’s show was on and hearing her talk about the abuse she had suffered as a child. Really incredible to think that somebody could rise above such a tragedy and go on to become such a massive success. Yet it’s not so hard to comprehend when you consider the winner’s attitude that she has forged.

She has come to the realization that only she could perpetuate her own negative circumstances. That if she allowed the negative affects of the past to dictate her future, then perhaps she’d still be stuck there. Instead she has made her way along a new path all the while carrying the past on her back.

Like the holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl, Oprah found some meaning in the struggle and if you know anything about her show, you’re aware that she has a passion for helping other people overcome. She has taken her burden and transformed it into a platform from which she helps other’s bundle up their baggage and move on.

Escape The Project

I will give even more credit to my mother, who for many years has told me that no matter what roadblocks we have faced, we need to learn how to “kick the bucket.” In other words, get over it and keep moving on. She speaks from experience because she suffered through a rugged childhood in a government housing project and the up and downs of an alcoholic father.

My mother would tell me stories about how she would get all dressed up and escape the project. She fought to gain acceptance to get on trips that would take her far away from the city so that she could gain a new perspective and find a peaceful spot. These are the same techniques I’m sure we all use at some time in our lives to get over the hump.

Small Battles

“But I’m different,” you’re thinking. “I just can’t seem to get beyond my challenge point.” “I think about it day and night.” “It consumes my thoughts.” Well why not try to win the simple battles? Why not find the strength to grab that moment of peace to draw on when the storm rages?

I watched an incredible episode of a guy who had endeavored to ride around the world on a motorcycle and meet different people from a variety of cultures and write about them. At one point he finds himself in the hills of Medellin, Colombia where he is kidnapped by leftist guerrillas and marched 8 hours into the woods. Tortured and held for ransom he concocts a story that he is suffering from prostate cancer so that he might seem useless to his captors.

The Oasis

During his captivity there is a moment when he is allowed to bathe in a cool stream and, as he recalls it ,you would feel like he was describing paradise. His oasis in the middle of a crisis. A fantastic moment and display that regardless of the circumstances we can choose to transcend them, even if just for a few minutes.

However, the best part of the story is not even the fact that he is eventually released to the care of the Red Cross. Rather, it’s his attitude once rescued. Although he is completely emaciated and beaten down, he describes how at that point he must continue on the journey, otherwise the rebels would have a true victory. Quickly, you realize that he’s not talking about the guerrillas at all. This man was looking straight in the face of any hurdle.

Turn Back

Now I don’t want you to think that this was some type of modern day super hero. He was not. Neither was he some lunatic obsessed with a mission. He was spot on! What happens when we do let our negative circumstances dictate our outcomes? What if he did turn tail and run home to the comfort of what he knew? What if he never traveled the world and touched lives with his story of perseverance? Who would he have become?

You can just imagine him curled up in a ball on his bed crying himself to sleep and popping sleeping pills just to escape the pain. But he chose differently. However, he still bleeds just like us. He still cries as he recalls the ordeal, especially as a gun is fired over his head while he stares into an empty grave.

Free Doses

Yet again, the simple wisdom is that he chose to kick the bucket. Why is it so difficult for us to do the same? Why do we find it so hard to channel our anger into positive endeavors. If I were a psychological scientist, I would work day and night on the formula for the conversion of anger into inspirational dissatisfaction and I’d give out free doses every day.

You could line up to get a sip of the “converter” that would help you stop pointing your finger. You would stop blaming the world, your friends and your family for what has gone wrong in your life. It would then give you great clarity to see yourself for what you really are. Not what other people want you to be, but what you’re truly capable of with no boundaries. Where you go headlong into challenge instead of turning back.

Skate Harder

I’ll leave you with the story of a little guy learning how to skate. As I skated behind him, I could see his hesitancy. His body position told me that he was preparing for a crash and burn. He was wobbly and shaky as he contemplated what could go wrong next. You see, I could see myself in his eyes, because he’s my boy. At his age I never knew clearly that I should take the agony of falling down and channel into my desire to achieve. So I encouraged him to get mad and pick up his feet and make it happen. And he did.

He was better in an instant and even though his new wipeouts at this greater speed were even bigger, he knew he could never be the same. Later that day he told me that even on Saturdays, “dudes” could learn. It gave me pause and made me see the circle of life as that little girl fought her way out of the projects and taught another little guy to overcome. So even though it hurts and your sometimes afraid, kick the bucket and overcome!

Tags: Inspiration, Oprah, Self Help, Self Improvement