Killer Assumptions!

I may not be right, but I’m certainly convinced. -Allan Dalton, former CEO of Realtor.com and real estate industry icon.

Soothsayers

So you think you can read minds? You think your intuition is is spot on? You can read palms? Somebody’s cards? Maybe predict the future based on the alignment of certain stars in the universe? I bet you could impress even the best of the soothsayers, but let’s turn it around on yourself. Can you predict your own future?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about here, you should realize that we try to do this very things every day. As we sit and think about what we know, what we’ve seen, what we’ve learned , it all comes together in a particular order. We make mental conclusions on a daily basis that guide us down a path that we create. Therein lies the danger.

Mistaken Supercomputer

Do we ever take a minute to consider the basis for many of these conclusions? They are laden with assumptions. Why? Because there is never really enough evidence to come to a very clear conclusions, so we fill the gaps with assumptions which are really just guesses. Of course the mind is an incredible supercomputer that store massive amounts of “evidence” that it accumulates over long periods of time, but what if much of that is false evidence.

Often times what we see is not reality at all. We might only be seeing part of the story but we still catalogue it away in a certain file and write up an assumptive conclusion. For example, think about how many times in your life you have witnessed the actions of other people and quickly put them in a certain category only to find out later you were completely wrong. How could you be so far off?

Fact Crack

You see the issue lies within the supercomputer. Our first erroneous assumption is that the information we have stored is accurate. We tend to assume, at least the majority of the time, that we are right. We want to believe that the way we see and do is spot on. We could make an argument that most people carry an insecurity about making mistakes so they tend to rationalize and ignore the “facts” that might lead to more accurate thinking.

So why can this be so dangerous? Let’s pretend we’re in a theatre watching ourselves. There we are as the main character. We are in the thick of it trying to find our way. To survive, we must find a job. But what do we do? We search the supercomputer for those things we might enjoy doing. We choose and we move in that direction. We are learning what it takes to be successful. We hit a few bumps and suddenly…CRACK!

Paralysis

What was that? Something doesn’t feel right. We go home and we think…a lot…too much. The next day we can’t seem to make a decision. The seeds of indecision begin to breed a sense of self-doubt. Together the indecision and doubt create a mental Molotov cocktail that explodes inside the supercomputer which begins to fire up the flight syndrome as we retreat into a state of complete paralytic fear.

Now the dragon is complete as he flies through our mind spitting devastating fire down upon our spirit. We begin to raise the white flag so that the beast will call off his assault! Please don’t hurt us anymore! I get it! You’re telling me I’m no good at this job. I was never meant to succeed at this of perhaps much of anything like it. We promise the dragon that if he’ll layoff, then we’ll retreat, roll up an quit!

Accident Investigation

Wow wow, wait a minute. Let’s reverse engineer what just happened. Let’s investigate the scene of the accident when we heard the crack. What happened in that moment that sent us tumbling down the hill? Rewind that movie and run it again in slow motion. We now see the evidence. At that moment we ran up against rejection. We tried to consummate the task and somebody stood in our way. They said NO. So we assumed.

We assumed that since we had been rejected that perhaps we just weren’t good at getting the job done. Hold the tape right there. Let’s think. Why did we hear the no? Did we ever even ask? Do we go digging for the evidence? How do we even know it was a skill set snafu? Were we even properly prepared? Did we begin the whole journey with an expectation that everything would come easy? And by the way…why are we even taking all of this so personally.

Molotov Cocktail

Perhaps now you can see why this whole discussion could be revealing a severe crack in our entire lives. What if poor assumptions are at the root of our self-destruction. What if we have lost relationships because we were sitting back and guessing incorrectly what the other person was thinking. What if the reason we had the problem to being with was because of the negative vibe our assumptions had cast upon us and those around us?

So there are two critical characteristics we must embrace in order to slay this dragon. Self-awareness and humility. Yes they are the ingredients for the antidote. By taking a moment to be aware of what we are saying and then searching internally for the evidence and considering it’s accuracy is important; but you’ll ultimately need the humility to admit that clearly not all of your assumptions are accurate. As you work hard at this you will grow into a self-confident dragon slayer. You’ll be ready for the fight that will surely come your way. But once you realize the power of the killer assumptions you will never take them for granted again!