The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German philosopher.
My word is my bond. My name is everything. This is what I heard from a few real estate agents this week when I asked them about their values. This all came in the context of of helping them build the presentations that they give to their prospects. My train of thought had been challenged by something I recently read that said all great presentations were based on values and described values as internal states of emotions…something more abstract than simple words.
Perhaps this discovery is at the very heart of why so many people seem to be going through the motions in business and life. It’s one thing to be taught something that works, but if you’re not really feeling it internally, won’t it shine through? If you believe that we can read each other by simple body movements, wouldn’t a lack of true conviction be obvious? Furthermore, if other people truly are looking for leaders and experts why would they line up with somebody that didn’t fully believe in themselves and their message?
Many of us are always after that seemingly illusive concept of success. We want it so badly that we tend to get obsessed with its pursuit. Some of us will even cheat to get it. Enormous volumes have been written about it. Many works about success eventually conclude that we have to start with why we’re after it at all. Why we want to be successful might ultimately be as simple as our drive to survive, which in modern days invokes a more complicated plight in the information age than kill or be killed.
Getting hit motivates me. It makes me punish the guy more. A fighter takes a punch, hits back with three more. Roberto Duran (1951-) One of the greatest fighters of all time known as Manos de Piedra (Hands of Stone).
So many ups and downs in life. The tide rises and carries us to the top of the mountain where we catch a glimpse of glory only to come crashing back to sea level as the wave slams back down on the sand. Just watch a surfer go from taming a monster wave to getting tossed like a rag doll only to paddle back out and look for some more.
It’s so frustrating to continually be pounded down to the ground and eventually we wonder what the heck happened to all those good days. The times when nothing seem to go wrong and if it did, how we were able to keep rolling forward and nothing could stop us.
The other night, I watched a fantastic boxing match where the champ traveled from England to come into the challenger’s home town of Washington D.C. The battle was ferocious from the get go with the champ knocking the home town fighter down twice in the early rounds. The tilt of the ring made it look like it might be an early victory celebration for the visitor.
Yet in spite of being shaken early, the challenger kept coming forward and he never stopped all night. He kept throwing punches with great intent in spite of being over-matched in the skill department. In fact he was so relentless the champ resorted to pushing him away and lost 2 points for trying to regain the edge.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. -Suzanne Somers, Actress.
So you’ve done something wrong. It keeps gnawing away at you. You keep burying it deeper. You rationalize why you did what you did but it keeps poking away. It wakes you up in the middle of a deep sleep. It invades your peace of mind. You get mad every time you think about it. You blame the circumstances of those who “made” you do it.
Eventually you run out of ways to make it okay. It tackles you to the bed. You pull up the sheets as the anger turns to depression. You start to wonder if a drink or a pill will make it just go away and it does…but for how long? The bottle doesn’t seem to be deep enough and before you know it you’re further down the wrong path. It all seems to be slipping down the hill quickly.
You come to the realization that life is like a game of shoots and ladders. One minute you’re climbing to the top and discovering the best of who you are and the next minute your dropping through a trap door and plunging into the abyss. What was the tripping point? Where did it come from? Was it a sudden event or was it like a cobra laying low in the grass for hours just waiting to pounce?
Suddenly one day it just seems so clear. You see all the silly things that you do in those moments of weakness and compromise. How you hurt other people just to self-satisfy and get ahead. In the moment, you never see the cloud building over your head. The one you create. Eventually it cracks wide open and floods your life. You know you caused it. Now the tough part.
