The Agitators

So off we go in pursuit. The forward-marching, goal-seeking organisms that we are. Grinding away, accumulating stuff and taking just enough off the top for fuel to keep us alive. We can even see ourselves as we peer down upon the ant colony. Just a mass of movement, coming and going, back and forth. So are we winning? How do we even measure victory? What does it look like? How does it smell? Once we get it, is it enough to satisfy the inner drive to achieve?

At the risk of sounding patronizing or even worse depressing, maybe we need to take a regular look at what we’re really after. The poor seem to dream of being rich, the rich of finding peace and the powerless of attaining great strength. Throw in some religion and politics and you have a downright free for all. Who has what versus those that don’t…sounds so ridiculous. We argue back and forth at who’s right and who’s wrong. Talking heads jump on the TV and Internet and agitate away until they create enough attention to self-fulfill. We line up in a hurry to join the fight, but again, where does this all leave us?

Neglected Cornerstone

Well if we look at our short lives as a construction project, then perhaps it makes sense to step back and take a look at what we’ve built so far. Just as if we were house hunting. We certainly know the neighborhood and style of house we dream of, so how does the life we’ve built look so far? For most of us we’re very tough self-critics. We seem to notice the glaring faults. The chipped paint, the cracked window, the rotten trim, the tired roof. Maybe some of us have spruced up the landscaping a bit, but we still see the problems. The hardest part is that these faults are the obvious ones, but what about the even harder to see issues. What about the wiring and the foundation itself?

While we were so busy painting and landscaping, we forgot about the core. Perhaps we’ve neglected the cornerstone. You see, no matter how hard we work on the exterior, it’s really the bones that matter the most! So let’s go back and ask some provocative questions. What’s the ground like that we chose to site the house on? Is it rocky or even sinking sand? Is it in a flood plane or muddy hillside? Sure maybe it looked enticing when we first chose the location, but in the long run was it or is it still the best choice? Did we take the time to properly survey the land and fortify the foundation in case of severe weather…because of course the storm eventually comes our way.

Big Bad Wolf

Remember that good old story about the Three Little Pigs? Well the Wolf eventually showed up and was downright hungry. He was also fairly relentless in his pursuit of those three little snacks. At first, it looked like the Wolf would have his way, but one of the three had thought well ahead. Maybe he caught some wind from the others as it took him a bit longer to work on his house, but time proved him the smartest. Now the good news was that he was a sharer and took great pride in his foresight and quickly took in his buddies. The best part is that thanks to that little house built on the solid foundation, the Wolf came up short. So maybe we should all take a few minutes to poke at our own houses and see if they are made of sticks and straw or solid brick, because it’s never to late to firm it up before the Wolf comes!

Concentration and mental toughness are the margins of victory. -Bill Russell (1934-), 5 time NBA MVP, 12 time NBA All Star and 11 time NBA champion with the Boston Celtics.

Barefooted Hippy

This week I watched a couple of shows about survival. The first is called Dual Survival and it’s about two tough guys that are purposely cast into survival situations. They both have very different styles. The first is a former military trained guy and the second is an earthy-crunchy barefooted hippy survivalist. In this episode they simulate a small plane crash where they both presumably would have parachuted to the floor of the Arizona desert 8 miles apart. The first point of importance is that survival, according to both of them, is much more likely if they can find each other and work together rather than alone. The next highlight is how the hippy moves towards a water source, he clearly leaves obvious clues as to his trail so that his partner can easily track him.

As I sat in the comfort of my bed, I marveled at how they both used some very basic and simple principles to make it through the freezing temperatures of the desert night. The hippy was even more comfortable as his understanding of the desert was simple and straightforward. He fashioned a cutting tool out of stone and then whittled a branch into a perfect shape for making fire. He then bore a hole in a flatter piece of wood for stability and rested it all on top of a fluffy piece of bark. In an instant, this guy had a tiny wooden ember that he fanned into a full fledged camp fire. The military guy was not as successful with the fire part, but used the parachute to create a wind and cold barrier to keep warm for the night. Once reunited they even used the rays of the sun to purify bacteria laden water they trapped in a plastic bag to keep hydrated as they made their way to safety.

Hell Week

Stuck in that mode, I made my way to the next show called 2 Weeks in Hell. Simply put, it’s the story of Green Beret training for the U.S. army…need I say more. Immediately, I saw many similarities between the shows, not the least of which was teamwork. The candidates were broken into 4 smaller groups and required to complete incredibly difficult tasks. At one point, they were given four steel poles, 4 wheels, some strapping and a 400 lb barrel of toxic liquid; all of which was to be transported over 6 miles of difficult terrain. The teams that spent some time working on their plan before beginning were much better off. Their makeshift vehicles were able to withstand the journey, which put less stress on the candidates. The team that came undone finished the course almost 6 hours behind. As tough as that may sound, the candidates where then forced to march for 20 miles into the night.

So what’s the message in all of this? Mental toughness combined with teamwork can overcome almost anything. There was no rocket science needed in these events just plain old Yankee ingenuity. Like the hippy had stated as he lit the fire…”just like they did 10 billion years ago.” These days however, it’s just too easy to pull over to the side of the road and quit. After all, someone will be along to pick us up, right? Well if you took that path in either of these shows you were dead…and yes literally. If you weren’t tough enough and willing to push yourself to the next level of your ability then it was plain and simply over. As I sat back and contemplated what I had just witnessed, I wondered to myself if I’ve ever even pushed myself remotely close to my best. Maybe something we should all think about?

Clogged Up

Have you ever watched a woodpecker go at a tree? You get dizzy just watching and marvel at how they just keep after it! Just thinking about that type of work ethic makes me think about a great guy I used to work for a long time ago. He bought a house in northern New England to escape the city grind. He described the property like an oasis, complete with a beautiful pond.

Well, what he didn’t know was that the property was already inhabited by a nice couple…The Beavers. According to the Beavers, the pond was really theirs to do as they pleased and they decided to clog it up and build a dam. The Spencers had a small problem with the the intent of the squatters and decided to unclog the dam…over and over again! I’m not sure even the Hatfields and McCoys went at it like this. One day while Spencer was knee deep in the battle, a fellow neighbor happened upon the scene in his old truck and offered a simple cryptic statement: “Beavah gut ya busy Spencah” and went on his way.

New Englander

The story is a classic and one I like for its New England flair with the contrast between the determined city dweller turned weekend woodsman and a stubborn old squatter. However, when you really consider the scene, you witness a fantastic battle of wills and a lesson in consistency. You see Spencer was at that time a fantastic, highly ranked investment analyst. His attention to detail was impeccable and his word was followed by many who sought to plunder a fortune on his advice.

As a young guy fresh out of college, I was unable to understand how important his work was to him until one day he sat me down and showed me the error in my ways as he handed over an analytical report that I had prepared that was tattooed with his corrective red pen. He explained to me that literally hundreds of millions of dollars would swing one way or the other based on the nickels and dimes per share that we were reporting. A lesson that taught me there really is no such thing as a 9 to 5 mentality. You simply have to role up your sleeves and do what it takes to perform the task at your highest level.

Consistent

As I look back, I recall from that point forward working extra hard to make sure the details were accurate. There was many a late night when I would certainly be one of the last out of the building. I became wired to stay consistent, especially when I was struggling with a task. Before asking for help, I knew it was right to first rely upon what I had learned and give it my best and never give up. Not that there was much of it in me, but any laziness was chased from my being for good at that point. There would never again be an intentional lack of a consistent effort in any task I set out to do.

This lesson has made all the difference in my life. It’s a tool that I know is always at my disposal and can solve most any dilemma. When in doubt, I slap my tail on the water, dive right back in and start working on my dam. I suppose if that old timer from the woods knew he might be smiling sideways and spouting…Griffin, Beavah gut ya busy!

A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. Bo Bennett (1972-), business man author and programmer.

No Rejected

What is it about the word no that seems to get the best of us? From the very start as children, we just don’t seem to like it and the power it has over us. We rebel against it right from the start and will plot to overthrow it. As a child we hear it so often that we become experts at counter attacking, by way of tantrums, insidious plots and downright espionage.

Why is this word so powerful? It might even be downright harmful to adults when heard on a job interview, a date attempt or the chase for a dream. Hearing it in situations where we have our heart invested can deliver a crushing blow to the ego that can send us whirling into a depression and a negative belief system that cripples us for months and even years to come!

No Immunity

The word no really lies at the root of many fears. Just the thought of hearing it and bearing its implications can render most of us paralyzed and unwilling to even have a go at our dreams. However, there are many that just seem immune to its harmful rays. We all know people that seem to blow right through the stop sign that a solid no can throw into their path. Almost a nonchalant shrugging off of its power to slow them down, but how in the world do they do it?

The hardest part is that some of these superheroes seem downright goofy. Don’t they get how dangerous a word that can be? Where is their caution? Where is their fear? It’s almost like the rest of us are screaming at them like some unsuspecting character in a horror flick about to meet the obvious doom lurking around the corner! Ironically, however, those that seem deafened to the power of no, are actually screaming at us…or better yet laughing at us and wondering what we are so worried about.

Jagged Nos

You see, to them the word no has no negative effect. To these seemingly fearless sorts, the word is not a stop sign at all. It actually is a source of energy and a message of course correction hurling them closer to their goals. Clearly we can all agree that the pathway to our goals is jagged and laden with twists and turns all marked by nos. So maybe it’s all in our heads. Maybe it’s simply the difference in the way people interpret their nos that marks the difference between winners and losers.

So let’s try an experiment. The next time we hear the word no, let’s program ourselves to hear the word hello. After all, hello is a relatively universal way to begin a discussion, whether it be at a job interview, on a sales call or even when we first stumble upon a love attraction. I’m sure we can all agree that it’s a lot easier to hear 7 or 8 hellos rather than nos which usually come before we get what we really want. So from now on…no means hello!

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a type of death. -Anais Nin (1903-1977), French author.

GOLDEN

So what does it really mean to be three feet from gold and miss it. How does that happen? I suppose we could always revisit the story of the Darby brothers as told be Napoleon Hill. How they followed a string of gold in a mine until it suddenly ran out and they sold the property only to find that the new owner with some simple assistance from the right engineer struck riches!

So what’s the real lesson here? People just give up too soon, they quit too early and often. We all know the feeling especially as we look back in the rear view mirror and wonder why we just didn’t stick it out longer. Unfortunately we seem to realize it only after someone else has realized our dreams. Perhaps even worse is that we feel contempt for people like that. We make every excuse we can fabricate to explain away why circumstances were against us and for them.

LADY LUCK

Now certainly timing and luck do seem to play significant roles, but doesn’t it make sense that those who persevere seem to have more luck and better timing. It’s really true with most things in life…the more we do them, the better we get. More importantly, consistent doing of the “thing” brings more tiny distinctions to light that lead to clear advantages and perhaps tilt the scale of lady luck in our favor.

So the real tragedy is that most people never get to the point where they realize those distinctions, because they come with a price. Sure we’re willing to pay big bucks to enter the arena to see the best of the best do their thing for an hour or so and then retreat to our own worlds and marvel over the God given abilities of peak performers and how they are just naturals! For a short time it seems to be the right medicine to make us forget our own shortcomings, but eventually it catches up with us. Somewhere deep inside it really hurts when we realize that we have never really put up a good fight!

RESIST

So what to do; well simple really. First we must figure out what our dreams are, not somebody elses’ that we perceive to be so wonderful. The biggest life throwaway would be to travel a path that we have zero interest in or any natural inclination to follow. Be bold and choose your heart’s desire. Endeavor to chase your dream. Then make a pact with yourself to do whatever it will take and however long it might be; even if it takes your entire life time.

Have faith and take comfort in the fact that pursuing what’s important to you will come with struggle no matter what the arena. Challenges and obstacles are there to build your strength and character. A battered and weathered spirit is a prerequisite for success. Success is a private concept that we feel as happiness and is only truly measured internally when we know we are after the right goal for us. So the next time you feel panicked and the call is to eject, course correct, run away…resist and move forward, for it’s in that moment when perhaps your gold is only feet away!

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.  -George S. Patton (1885-1945), U.S. Army General famous for his command during WWII.

Was Murphy Right

Why don’t all the pieces of the puzzle come together exactly the way we would like them to? Why do events seem to unfold their own way and not line up with our time table? What about this guy Murphy and his law that anything that could go wrong will? Why does he seem to be right all the time? Or his he ever right?

Let’s first consider how important it is for the human brain to make sense of everything. We take the millions of bits of information we are exposed to and hurriedly pack them away in neat little storage bins. We then make sense of events based on what we already know and feel quite unsettled when we can’t seem to put it all together.

Fabricate and Protect

You see, the loss of control is a massive source of anxiety and when we can’t understand something very easily, we tend to panic. We search the internal records to make a match and even tend to allow for mistaken interpretations based entirely on lack of evidence. However, before we get too far off track, let’s just say we are very uncomfortable with things we don’t know or recognize.

So what does this information overload do to us. Well, it can make us downright crazy. We can babble on trying to control it, understand it and rationalize. We’ll even go as far making up an entire story that makes no sense. The brightest amongst us struggle the most as they pride themselves on their intellect and ability to organize.

Natural Disaster

This still begs the question as to why it’s so important to keep information in a particular order. What’s so important about controlling everything and is that even a realistic endeavor? Absolutely NOT! Have we really forgotten that life is completely unpredictable. We have no idea what’s going to happen next!

Just because certain events may seem to be repeating themselves, there is definitely no guarantee that any pattern will continue. In fact our very existence hangs in the balance every nanosecond of every day. What if the Earth fell off of its axis or its perfect atmospheric balance springs a leak? Plain and simply…it’s over. Natural disasters are one of the biggest killers of humans in the world. Our inability to predict them and make sense of them is perhaps why we are left so frazzled in their wake.

World Attack

So what’s the answer? Let’s just embrace the fact that life is unpredictable and really unmanageable. World events are uncaged and follow no clear pattern. It’s simply a fact of our existence. But we certainly are prepared with plenty of tools to cope, otherwise life itself would be completely unbearable. Those that survive the best, draw upon all of that stored information to find new solutions rather than fit the new challenge into and old form.

If we will simply except that we are incapable of controlling events then perhaps we would be more ready to evolve. Rather than hide under the bed when the world attacks, why not embrace the sudden course correction as an opportunity to shift gears and move in new directions. We might just discover that this bag of thinking tools we have been developing is the remedy for all that is to come whether we like it or not!

Pleasure or Pain?

Fear, Greed, Love, Trust and on goes the list of emotions we feel on a regular basis. They can well up in an instant and completely change the course of our direction. In a minute we can be headed down one path and then become completely moved down another by a change of heart. So is this a good thing? Well maybe we ought to step back and consider how significant this issue really is…

Let’s consider our last subject of deadly distractions and go searching for the connection. You see everybody wants to pretend that they can separate the challenges of surviving and making a living from the other aspects of their lives so let’s start there. Can you really focus at work if you have a kink in your relationship with your spouse, your kids, your parents or maybe even your best friend. Of course not! That deeply rooted desire to love and be loved is perhaps the greatest and most powerful emotion of all…just think back to how overpowered your common sense became when you fell in or out of love. What about greed? What happens to your life when all you focus on is hunting and gathering money at any expense. Do you wake up one day with nobody to love or worse be surrounded by people that no longer trust you or believe in you? How’s that feel? Not so hot huh?

Inaccurate Thinking

I guess we could even simplify this a bit more by simply focusing on a more Freudian slant that we are always moved by the emotions of pleasure or pain; but what are the implications of that emotional pursuit? If that’s all we did and had no intellectual oversight where would we be? Well there’s plenty of evidence that the pursuit of too much pleasure does nothing but rot us to the core like too much candy or that the avoidance of pain can render us useless as we retreat to the dungeon to avoid all risk.

So what’s the point? Our emotions are a force to be reckoned with. We must begin to pay attention to not only their positive effects but more importantly their negative effects. In his book Law of Success, Napoleon Hill broaches the subject of inaccurate thinking. I would argue that inaccurate thoughts can be the very result of our emotional over reactions.

Common Sense Rewiring

Think about any relationship that you might have been involved in…were you ever at fault for blowing it up because you reacted emotionally? Have you ever walked away from a good thing only to find that the other side of the fence was not only not greener but in fact it was down right frightening? Now what? Well here’s the problem…the same emotions that helped us get carried away and do something silly, now imprison us from returning to the starting point and trying to make it right. Why we find it so difficult to swallow our own prideful emotions and use our common sense is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of human behavior.

So the conclusion is actually simple; we must wire ourselves to control our emotions. We literally need to develop the ability to have our common sense pull the fire alarm when we feel very emotional and force us to stop and think. Do your homework first. Review the evidence and simply question whether your emotions are leading you in the right direction or down the road to destruction.

Have you ever been involved in a group discussion and found yourself standing at the back of the group just listening; your mind swirling with thoughts and reactions; chomping at the bit to speak up but something just seems to be keeping you back? Maybe it’s the personality of the group leaders that intimidate you. They seem so opinionated, so well spoken, so in command of their thoughts. You know that you have something to add, but just feel paralyzed.

What if you spoke up and sounded stupid? What if your question was so basic that the whole group would have a collective laugh at your expense? Maybe it’s just easier to sit back and take what you’ve heard and go try to figure it all out on your own…after all, that way you could spare yourself the embarrassment of sounding silly. You begin to fall into a pattern of behavior of just becoming a passive participant in all aspects of your life. Maybe you even begin to resent those that push themselves to the front of the pack.

What’s even worse is that you start to resent those that you once enjoyed. You blame them for keeping you back. You see them as the tripping point in your success. Now with your thoughts all bottled up more than ever, your grudge builds and you begin to look for a new home; a new group where you can finally get everything you want and need to succeed. This time you’ll hand pick the situation and all will be right. So you blow up the current situation and move on, truly empowered!

But hold on for a second. What has really changed? Sure maybe the grass is now different but is it better. More importantly, are you and different? Are you any better? First of all, most of everything that you have built is now left behind…sure I understand that much of what you have you can bring with you, but any new situation is like starting from scratch…literally point zero. Of course change can be good for the soul, but only if the soul is truly understood to begin with.

Let’s consider that most of us never sit still enough to figure out what we really even want, Is it more money, more freedom, more happiness. How do we get it? Where do we find it? Why not keep running around until we get it? Well I tell you why…because it never happens that way. You think I’m wrong? Then start studying the people that you think really have what you want. How did they get it? Did they run around like headless chickens until they got it? Of course not!

The first thing they did was take a full personal inventory and figure out who they really were. They took an accurate viewpoint of their own strengths and weaknesses. Their own yin and yang. They then matched their skills up with people and situations that brought out their best. No, not some smooth little sailing trip either. Rather a journey filled with challenges and tripping points; falling forward and filing themselves to success. However the most important characteristic of successful people is that they eventually emerge from the back of the pack and demand a better life. After all, if we want better, we must step up!!

A man in debt is so far a slave. -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) Essayist, philosopher and poet.

New Distinctions

Fresh off of a real estate super conference I’m loaded with thoughts. Thousands of new connections. The path of wisdom calling me in new directions, revealing new distinctions. More emotional realities than I ever dreamed off being possible. Amongst all of them however is a serious cry to action. Compelling me forward to start a revolution. An inspirational dissatisfaction that burns more fiercely than ever.

As we dig deeply and battle on and on to overcome, there seems to be an unnamed beast keeping us backwards. We might even be able to blame a conspiracy, but it’s even worse. In a conspiracy we might be unable to fight back. Sabotage is difficult to combat when it comes from the blind side. This one however is coming right through the front door. Sitting down at our coffee tables and relaxing on our couches; picking our pockets as we willingly open them up. It turns out we’re the thief!!

Prideful Clowns

Robbed by our own greed to consume. Our desire to keep up with the Joneses and heave our noses in the air lest we trip over the less fortunate or the unworthy. What a bunch of prideful clowns we’ve become. Wrapped in emotional pain as we struggle to put on the smile and pretend that everything is all right until it comes crashing down in a heap leaving broken relationships, businesses and hearts.

What is it you ask? Well I posed it to myself recently as I thought “am I a banker?” I starting asking everybody I came in contact with…and since I run primarily in a circle of real estate agents I got a lot of strange looks. I would get the suspicious rejection from most until I asked a few more questions: Do you have a mortgage? Do you have a car payment? Do you have a credit card payment? Do you have a school loan payment? If yes to any of these then the simple conclusion is that you are indeed a banker!

Indentured Servants

If you get up everyday under pressure to make these payments before even being able to feed yourself then you are a banker! A modern day indentured servant working for somebody other than yourself. How did it happen you wonder? Who did this to you? Those evil banks! They snuck up on you and stole your life! What?? Are you kidding yourself! We did it! We’re guilty! Nobody but us! We got caught up being some of the wealthiest people in the world and took for granted how well off we really were and started consuming things we never need!

We stopped investing in our own businesses and personal improvement in place of televisions, cars, fancy clothes, and any other consumable we could get our hands on. We devoured everything and stuffed them in the biggest castles we could build! So now what?

Financial Freedom

Simple! Get smart again. Start getting rid of every non essential item you have accumulated. Downsize everything you can that doesn’t matter. Respect your own effort to earn. Embrace your ability to get up off the floor and work hard. Without a doubt you will be rewarded. Your business or job whatever it may be will bear fruit. Your own bank account will swell. You financial freedom will ring. Your life will grow. Your family and friends will see the change and follow suit. Just then and maybe then we’ll see each other again. Maybe then we’ll find the peace and happiness we seem to have sacrificed.

The same people who never did their homework in high school are still doing that to this very day out in the real world. -Jules Shear (1952-), American singer, songwriter.

Battle Time

When I think back to college, I remember what it was like to truly battle; how hard it was to focus on doing well academically with all of the distractions. Nobody to watch over me and demand a return on investment. Just me grinding away to make it happen. Maybe it was the guilty feeling as I thought about how hard my parents had to work to even make it possible or maybe it was just pride that I had to prove to myself that I could excel.

Whatever the motivator was, I somehow found a way to graduate near the top of the heap and still had a fantastic time. However, the story is most significant because I can remember the feeling on graduation day…nobody could ever take away the great result of all my hard work. All those nights hiding in the science library, where only the real students went, so I couldn’t be distracted; all those extra hours talking to professors until I was sure of what they wanted us to learn so that on test day, I knew it cold.

The Enforcer

So what did I really take away from that experience? Was it how all the subjects came together like the solving of a puzzle? Was it the realization that I could grow in direct proportion to the effort I put forward; or perhaps the feeling of comfort that I was and am in control of my own destiny? All of these are certainly relevant, but what I think is most important is that I learned how to do my homework.

I laugh as I think of the people I know that have used that concept in a variety of ways especially a buddy that played professional hockey. His role was that of the enforcer; simply put, he was expected to fight and became really good at it. So when challenged by an unsuspecting competitor, he would simply offer “do your homework.” I have another friend, married for many years, who would offer the same advice to all who would choose to be out with the boys to always “do their homework” first.

New Angle

So what does any of this mean and why is it important? Because we get lazy and don’t do our homework. We’re so quick to make major decisions without considering all the consequences and options. As I learned in school, all knowledge seems to converge to reveal some simple truths. In this case, we have discussed how our emotional over reactions can be deadly. Coupled with the concept of doing our homework we can bring a certain stability back into our lives.

Let’s consider relationships. Have you ever taken a simple personality test to understand your own strengths and weaknesses. Do you even realize that we all have certain prewirings that make us naturally dominant, influential, supportive or compliant? Did you know that each type can offer its good side or its bad side, its yin and its yang. If you did the homework on yourself, do you think you might be able to then do the homework on somebody else and develop a greater appreciation for their viewpoint? I’m simply saying that by doing your homework on every major decision and being honest about the results might just change everything!